Thoughts While People-Watching in the Airport

I’ve spent a bit of time in some airports recently.

And while I quite enjoy people watching just about anywhere, my recent travel brought up quite a few thoughts that I’d like to share with the world. (This might be mostly from the 3 ½ hours spent in Dallas, but some were also inspired from Madison, Columbus, Detroit and New Orleans.)

I’ve organized them for your ease.

‘Cuz that’s how I roll.

Shoes

§ How is it that some women are able to travel in four-inch heels? Are we not walking through the same airports, down really long terminals, looking for our gates?
§Or flip flops for that matter? Am I turning into that much of a freak needing constant back support with my orthotic-filled running shoes? [No need to respond. I know the answer is yes.]

§ Socks with sandals. Really? [Both men and women do this, btw.] Please knock it off. If you need to wear socks, I’m confident that flip flops and teva’s are not the shoe for you. Cover that up with a real shoe.

§ Those “minimalists” who enjoy those toe-shoe-things? Please only wear these while on your nature hikes or hidden in a kayak. When you wear them in public it totally creeps me out.

HEY . . . YOU . . .

§ With the loud conversation - Please go elsewhere. [This is applicable for both those talking to another human being and those on the phone. Probably talking to other human beings.]

§ In the tye-died shirt - Are you on something? Or is “dancing with myself” stuck in your head?

§ With the high-energy child - If your kid is running around the gate area yelling “wee . . . wee . . .” like that pig in this awkward geico commercial, I feel pretty confident that he doesn’t need that pixie stick you just gave him. Especially since you’re about to get on a 3 hour flight.

When Travelling In a Small Place Like an AIRPLANE . . .

§ Please shower the day you are travelling. Or take a bath, whatever floats your boat. A smelly seatmate is uncool.

§ Eat your food at the gate. If you have no choice, I get it. You’re hungry and have been rushing between gates. However, when you buy your food and just sit at the gate for 30 minutes and watch your food get cold, it’s ridiculous. And gross.

§ Buying a PlayBoy to read on the plane seems unacceptable. If you have to buy a magazine in a brown paper sack, I feel like you shouldn’t be allowed to “read” it on a plane. (No, this isn’t from a recent trip, but I believe in having at least 3 bullets per heading, and I’m losing material here.)