Monday, May 6, 2013

Impatient and Frustrated, Party of One

If you've met me, and I can only assume that if you're reading this, you have, then you know I tend toward the impatient end of the spectrum. Especially if it's something for or about myself. I can be very patient with others, but rarely with myself. [Unless they're drivers. Then all bets are off. But that's a whole other post.]

Anyway . . . I digress.
I'm impatient.
And right now I'm both impatient and frustrated with my training, or lack there-of.
I went to bed on Friday night with a bit of a sore back, and by morning I was officially miserable. Around 6:00am I finally googled 'sciatic nerve pain.' [One can technically call me a 'runner' again, so of course I've also become my own doctor.]
This may or may not be my actual problem, but following the webMD advice I've gathered, gentle stretching, time on a heating pad, walking and ibuprofen seem to be helping. I can now both lift my right leg and start to bend over more than ten degrees without wanting to scream. So that's progress.
Seriously, it's getting better, so I've yet to go to an actual medical professional. If it comes back or gets worse . . . don't worry, I'm there. However, for now, I'm taking it easy. Which is actually quite challenging for me. Especially when I want to be doing the opposite of easy.
So it's given me some time to think, this slow-walking and time not-running or cleaning or doing errands, like I should have been doing this weekend.
What seems fascinating to me is that often, when running, I'm not always having fun.
And by 'always', of course I mean, 'most of the time when running.'

But I AM finding that I'm enjoying my time outdoors, regardless of the weather. Rain, snow or sunshine, I'm happy pounding the pavement - people watching and thinking and looking at the changes in nature - from a frozen lake to monitoring the tulip blossoms. I'm loving it.
This is not what I was expecting.
Though to be honest, I guess I hadn't really thought about the domino effect of signing up for this 5K.

So I'm trying to pay attention to the little things in life, like the fact that the tulips near my office are blooming, but the ones at the capital aren't ready yet. There are a few at the top of the hill near my house, which is a nice view after making it to the top. I got to notice these on a nice walk yesterday, which is what Dr. Kelly is allowing herself to do until further notice. I'm frustrated at the fact that I'm "getting behind" on my training, but I'm really trying to look at the bigger picture. This involves slowing down, stepping back, and resting. I am attempting to listen to my body which is clearly screaming "KNOCK. IT. OFF." [Yes, my body apparently also has an Irish temper.]

So I'm listening.
And taking it slowly, and trying to not be in a rush to get back into my new running shoes. I am looking forward to this race in the mud, and I want to be able to compete and finish, so if I get really injured now, that's not going to happen.
So please, wish me luck. With the running, and the Waiting-to-run.
I need it.